Tuesday, September 18, 2012

And Then She Went TO Preschool

Its official. My baby is a preschooler.  Though it seamed like the day may never come, the school had been delayed due to some mold, I never though the day would come.  We continued to live our days freely like we had all summer, playing and doing what ever it is she wanted to do, making our own schedule.  We soaked up the last week we had together, spending quality time, and in the moment we forgot all about school.  Alas, the day did come, and though I knew she was ready, I sorely underestimated just  how unready I was.  

Kylie is in the pm class so I had the whole morning mapped out, I wanted to make her favorite breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes), and spend some extra time with her, and soaking up the moment.  Making sure to take pictures of her posed with her book bag, and doing my best to see her off gracefully.  After all I knew she was ready, I knew it was time for her to start school, that being home with her sister and I was no longer able to provided what her growing mind needed, she was more than ready.  I mean of course she was ready, we've been talking about it since we signed her up in April.  So needless to say, we overslept the morning of, Kylie is usually up between 7-8 but of course that morning she woke up at 930.  Everything became rushed, making her breakfast and cleaning up, getting her ready before we knew it, it was 11 and a rush of chaos ensued.  The hubs and I running around getting everything together including ourselves. Kylie was so excited running around the house yelling "Im going to school!".  I couldn't even get her to hold still for pictures, and before long we were in the car and on our way to school.  

Its hard for me to put in words the emotions I felt that day.  I knew this was good for her, that she needed to finally start school, but I couldn't seam to tell this to my heart.  My baby is so big, and standing outside the school waiting for the teachers my eyes weld with tears, and all I could think about was the day she was born and how much she has changed since then.  Her school career was about to start and though she couldn't have been happier, my heart ached, and I was caught up in the longing for her to be a baby again.  To reclaim those moments that passed.  This whole time as we were waiting, I thought we would at least be able to walk them to class, but when the teachers came out, they told all the kids to come in, that we were to let them go, and just sign them in, and then leave.  Kylie was amazing, she gave me a kiss and the hubs too, said good bye.  She looked over her shoulders a couple times but mostly just walked in, light hearted with a big smile on her face.  The teachers reassured me she would be fine.  I had so many questions, Kylie was in early intervention when she was two, and she still dosnt speak clearly, I stressed this and once again the teacher whom is very kind just smiled and said she will be fine.  I felt the tears build up tearing to spill over and I am really not a cryer, I especially don't like crying in front of other people, but I couldn't help it.  I cried, The hubs pulling me away, telling me she was ok.  

I spent the majority of the first hour she was gone crying, my husband not sure what to say.  He just wanted me to cheer up, and of course he thinks the way t0 do so is to go shopping.  We took a trip to the mall, for the first time since Alexia was born with just the three of us.  We wondered around drinking coffee, and talking about how fast the time had gone.  We picked her up a little surprise and finally headed back to pick her up.  I was so excited to see her, I signed her out and patiently waited for her to come out.  And when she did, she came barreling out of the doors, "Mommy!!!" I held her for so long.  I missed her so.  She told me everything she did and said she missed me so much.  Then her face became serious and she said, "Mommy I need a happy meal."  

As we put her to bed that night, She asked if she could go tomorrow, and it makes me happy to think she already likes school so much.  She gets so excited, and we are slowly falling into a new routine.  Its bitter sweet my baby being in school, but I am so happy, that she is making friends and learning new things.  I can't get over how quiet it is in the house now.  For once I may actually get something done.  But I am so happy when its time to pick her up.  



  1. Oh my goodness, stop it! lol. You always make me cry. But in a good way. :) Kylie is so beautiful, and I'm glad she likes school!

  2. Oh my, I know exactly how you feel, my little one started per-school last week & it wasn't much fun for me. I know he'll love it and it's the best for him, but it breaks my Mama heart!! Xxx


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