Monday, April 16, 2012

Just because Im young does NOT mean I'm a bad mom

Im not sure if anyone under the age of thirty who is a mother has ever encountered the "young moms = bad mothers." but it really ticks me off.  On my journey thus far through Mommy-hood Ive had to face this more times than I would have liked.  Sad to admit that I didn't really stand up for my self the first times I encountered such mean comments.  Its amazing what people will say to you, and I find this makes it hard to particularly like the general population.  Not saying that I myself am innocent but, I do try to be a nice person.  Really I do.  The negativity I encountered a lot, was when Kylie was a baby, I was only 20 and I tend to look even younger seeing as I am a small person only 4'11.  So when Kylie was a baby, I was lucky, she was healthy, a good baby.  Slept well and ate well, rarely got sick, so when we did take her to the Doctors, my husband always came with me, and we always saw the same doctor.  

Then When Kylie was just shy of 1 she got a high fever and cried all night long.  I did what any other mother would do and called her pediatrician, who promptly told us to come in seeing as it was an unscheduled appointment I got the next available doctor.  It was a large practice and I only went at the advice of my SIL who also took my nieces there.  Long story short it was a women maybe in her fifties, and from the start she had a sour attitude.  When I was explaining the symptoms she was I swear shaking her head at me.  Then after I was finished and she examined my little girl, she in a very condescending tone told me she had simply a soar throat.  When I further inquired "Its not strep right?"  She exhaled deeply and said "She is too young!"  I was now very sure she was being rude to me.  When I asked what I should do she said to give her children's Motrin and feed her cold things like ice cream.  Then to my utter surprise she so rudely added, "Maybe if you had been more careful and waited to have a baby, you would be more equipped to handle this, maybe if you were older you'd have known this wasn't an emergency, this is why babies shouldn't have babies."  I just let her talk to me like that too, and she left and I left almost in tears.  I never went back, I promptly found a better pediatrician and never looked back.  It is unbelievable right?  Why wouldn't you take your baby to the doctors when she had a high fever?  Since when is it okay to talk to a patient that way?  And I assure you it was a direct quote I could never forget her cruel words.  There have been other times where similar things have been said and I still did nothing to defend myself.

But lately something happened and I proudly defended my self.  I was at a store with my children by myself, Kylie was behaving and the baby was sleeping.  A women, stopped to admire my children I guess, asked how old the baby was, told me how beautiful they both were than proceeded to say "Are they yours?"  Um yeah.  "How old are you? Your too young to have to kids."  her face is scrunched up on a judgmental way and her tone is suddenly mean.  I was stunned for a minute before I heard myself say "Excuse you?  What right do you have?"  In an applied voice she felt the need to say "Well its true!"
Which I promptly responded "No its not, you don't know me, don't bring your judgment my way lady, go take your holier than tho bull crap some where else.  Were all full up here.  Plus who cares what you think who the hell are you?"  That earned me a huff and she quickly walked away.

Can you believe it?  I know I am young, but I try so hard to be a good mom.  I try to do everything right, I do the best I myself absolutely can.  Isn't that all you can do?  Whose to say what age makes a good mother.  What because I don't fit some picture of what you think is right, that makes me wrong?  Or an ill fit mother? Seriously how judgmental.  And mean.  And WRONG.  Am I right?  I love my girls more than life its self, how does my age affect that?  I did the right thing, I grew up.  I didn't abandon my baby, or give her up.  I  except the consequences and in return received something beautiful.  I wouldn't change it, sure the situation hadn't been Ideal but it happened and I do my best, to not be a statistic.  Im proud of my life, I have a great husband, who always  does whats right for his kids, whom never once was a bad father.  My girls have a happy home life, everything they need plus, I mean what more could you give a child?

I like to post happy things on here but, I felt the need to share this.  Not every this is always sunny in my world any way.

Every one Happy Blue Monday!

<3 Tori

I just love this picture

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