Fleeting Moments

Nostalgia.  I have been feeling it quite a bit lately.  I'm not sure what triggered it, maybe it was my baby turning 4, or maybe its that she will very soon be starting school, and for the first time ever, will be with out me or my family.  Or perhaps it was going through all of her old clothes in the attic, looking for things to pass on to Alexia.  Being able to remember days when she was just a little one, wearing this or wearing that.  Thinking to my self where has the time gone?  Dear God, how did I miss it?  Looking back I think, I didn't take enough pictures or enough video.  I wish I told my self to soak it all in, that these times are fleeting, one day she will be older, and all I have of those years where she was little, are in pictures and video, and in my memory.  The more I think about it, the wearier I get.  The longing for the time when Kylie was little, when she was the same age Lexi is now.  If I could tell myself then, to slow down, to enjoy it I would.  I was so busy trying to get ahead at work, and paying bills, providing what she needed and more, that I'm afraid I missed a lot.  My Mom heard her firsts words, witnessed her crawl for the first time, all while I was working hard.  I wish I could have those moments back.  I really do.  I wish some one was thinking and pulled out the camera. All I have is what my parents told me.  Fleeting.  Time is Fleeting, and there never seams to be enough.

So, I am telling my self that even though its hard, and overwhelming, to take in every moment anyway. Because one day Alexia will be starting school, and Kylie will be even older, one day it will feel like a blink of an eye, and they will both be married, with kids of their own.  My parents always used to tell me this, that it flies by, when did I get so big?  And I would just roll my eyes because when your young you don't get it, but now, now I get it.  Making sure I take more pictures of them both, and more videos of them both, soaking in every moment while I can.  So one day when I'm old and they have a family of their own, I will have those moments.

Everything, from Kylies cute way of talking to all Lexi's firsts.  Their giggles, and smiles.  Their likes and dislikes, similarities to each other, their favorite stories. Everything.  Trying hard to remember to get caught up in the moment, play more, and worry less about the never ending pile of laundry or lists of things to do.  To make sure I am not taking anything for granted.    Because one day I will long for those days filled with noise and chaos, of being a mom to young kids.  Because everyday we get older, and every moment leads to years passed.  Time is the one thing you can never get back, and you must be sure to enjoy every second of it.  And I will.

Love you girls. Happy Sunday Everyone 

<3 Tori