Monday, March 19, 2012

The art of staying home...

Upon becoming pregnant with my second daughter, my mother-in-law told me, "now you will have to understand the art of juggling." I laughed I mean I was already juggling right?  A three year old and a full time job, plus everything else.  Housework, a husband, gymnastics and so on, i told myself you already juggle, you got this.  And then around my fifth month I had a sorta freak out.  The pregnancy was so much harder that my first one, in and out of bed rest, ER visits and just plain feeling lousy.  Laundry piled up, cleaning behind, work missed and my poor husband was struggling to do everything I usually did with his 12 hour+ job, things were looking bad.  The more time that passed, the more I started to realize how big a job two kids were going to be.  My three year old is well a three year old, filled with energy and mischief, plus the demands of a new born, and a full time job.  Panic filled me. I became consumed with, "how will I do this?"  and decided to talk to my husband about all my fears.  His response was so simple, "Stay home."  Huh I hadn't thought of that.  I had always worked, because of health insurance,and I never really considered staying home and option, which is what I say to my husband, feeling extra confused.  "Well"  he says, "We can always figure something else out for insurance, and I want you to be as happy as I am, being home would be better.  Less for you to worry about."  Isn't he wonderful?  It solved all my worries, I thought this is going to be great staying home with my babies.  What women wouldn't want that?  

One day while on maternity leave, I was playing with Kylie and she looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said "Mommy you stay home with me?"  I explained that I would, that Mommy wasn't going back to work anymore.  She got so excited and started jumping up and down yelling "Yay!"  This just further instilled to me that my husband and I had made the best decision.  Than I had my beautiful baby girl Alexia.  We were thrilled and I was ready to start this new life.  Than reality hit.  New baby, four times the house work,and my Kylie who just wasn't adjusting well.  Acting out to get attention, every day proved worse than the other.  I was doing no better at keeping up than when I was pregnant.  As it turns out all babies are different, duh right?  Kylie was such a good baby slept throughout the night the first day home, and never really cried much.  We were lucky, because little Alexia, barley sleeps (getting better now.) cries most of the time, and well being sleep deprived can really grate on you. I thought I was going to go crazy, and turned to my mom a mother of three and asked how she did it.  She of course says "Just have to learn how to juggle."  I wanted to scream.

Turns out staying home it so much harder than I thought.  By the time my husband gets home and I was ready to let him take ever so I could go to bed, but that was so unrealistic seeing as he works so much for so long, he is starting out just as tired as I am.  of course he helps but he needs to sleep so he can get through work.  I got it but I didn't like it.  He would say to me "Get any laundry done today?  How about cleaning?"  Nope didn't happen to day dear.  Always patient he'd say okay, but now it seams there is a light at the end of the tunnel!  I do believe I've  figured it out. First of all Alexia sleeps more Thank God, and I try to schedule everything! Even housework!  Why staying home requires for me to do things un a much more structured way then before, Im just glad Im finally getting it! And well I must admit I do have some help, my husband of course and wonderful mother, and my very best friend caffeine.  

All and all these little girls make it all worth it... 

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