Embracing Myself...

I've wanted to broach this topic for a while, but felt maybe it was too personal, maybe I shouldn't share but....

Yesterday I posted this photo on instagram... 

I've been working for the last 4 months on loosing weight.  And no, I don't go to the gym, or spend hours obsessing about working out.  I just forced my self to do it.  And I have, amazingly dropped down to the weight I was before I had Alexia.  I've notice all kinds of differences, in my arms, face, thighs, but..... I cant seam to shed my "Mom Hips" which some one so lovingly said to me. <--- I'm being sarcastic.  

Let me just say that after my first baby, I bounced back pretty quickly.  I mean a little over year later my belly was flat, and it seamed I never had a baby.  I feel as though I carried Kylie all over, not just in my belly and hips, so loosing it was pretty easy, and I didn't work out at all.  There I was back in shape before my wedding and feeling good.  So when I found out we were expecting again, I had no real weight loss plan for after, Id bounce back like last time.....  

{This is 15 months after having Kylie}

Just kidding.  I carried Alexia completely different.  Not in my face, or arms, or legs, but all up front, In my belly and my hips.  That's all that got big.  And standing a whopping 4"11, I clearly looked very pregnant from about 6 months on.  

       {Night before Alexia was born}

The point?  After I had Alexia, I noticed the weight wasn't coming off like it had before.  I had weight in places I never had.  Then I knew I would have to work out.  I would have to work hard to try and flaten my belly.  I'm not athletic, I hate sweating, so I reluctantly dove in to it.  Forcing my slef to work out pretty much every day and watch what I ate.  

Lots of hard work, and though I'm not done, I'm happy with where I am now.  So much better than where I was, coming full circle to the weight I was before my little Alexia.   In fact I was so excited I pulled out my designer jeans that fit perfectly before, at the same weight, and as I pulled them up and waiting to feel that satisfied feeling of YAY I'm back in my old pants, to only be shattered when I couldn't get them over my hips. 

I was upset, for a while.  Thinking I had to loose more weight.  But then as some one so kindly pointed out, "You cant loose Hips girl"  Right.  There it is  First of all screw you extremely rude person, and secondly, okay.  Okay I cant fit in a size 4 anymore.  I'm okay with that.  

And why shouldn't I be?  I grew and nurtured two babies, I loving brought them into this world, no matter the price I paid, and now when I look at myself, I have these beautiful hips to prove it.  I feel proud, proud of what my body's accomplished, proud of the little loves I brought into this world. 

How sad is it truly that we as women believe we are only attractive if we are a size 00?  I know some women are just naturally that small, and that's fine, that good.  But not all of us are.  Why have we let "Hollywood" distort Our image of beauty, when it should be to each their own.  How can we as mothers, wives and sisters, teach our children and put upon other women to live to these impossible standards?  The other day while out with my husband I over heard twenty somethings saying they never want to be a mother because they dont want to be fat!  What????!!! Thats insane, its insane that as a society its come to that. So wrong.  Beauty is beauty, and we should treat it as such.  Every one is beautiful, I truly believe that,  no matter how short, tall, curvy, skinny we are.  As women we should be doing our best to embrace motherhood and all that comes with it, not how fast can you become skinny after having a baby? Teaching our daughters the truth, and not giving them some enormse self concious outlook their whole lives.  It starts with you, and I know for me, I will never utter the words "I'm fat" In front of them.  I'm happy with how I look, and so should every one else.  We should stop killing our selves to appease everyone else and fit some cookie cutter mold of beautiful and just be happy, hold our heads up high  and pass it along.  

Because Skinny or curvy you are beautiful.